You will need to comprehend the problem from their views
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Salam ‘Alaikom,
Many thanks for composing so you can all of us. We all know just how difficult it is and make sense out of objections that are grounded far more from inside the cultural and you can private tastes and shorter from inside the religious and you will ethical standards. Opinion some of the things we establish lower than you can come to some decision how we want to handle this matter with your parents.
Basic, during particular universities from believe a good Muslim lady need the fresh new consent off their unique wali (guardian) to acquire married, there is certainly good arrangement you to good Muslim people is get married without the brand new permission regarding his mothers. We wish to state first, however, we come into no chance indicating you to Muslims disregard the central role you to definitely parents is also and really should gamble from the relationship procedure. Although not, as with the situation, the mother and father is insisting into a certain point of view one to is really perhaps not offered when you look at the Islam, i.age. refusing a candidate getting relationship built strictly with the racial and social considerations.
Next, based on that which you wrote, we feel your parents might not simply be concentrating on battle and you will people, nonetheless might have various other good concerns also. Why don’t we start out with your own admission that you are “maybe not the greatest Muslim.” We’re not sure the manner in which you are employing the expression “finest,” and is also possible that both you and your moms and dads plus disagree about how “perfect” an effective Muslim you’re. As you are seeking to wed a woman that is now Religious but is planning to return so you can Islam, your parents will additionally be worried that the religion will suffer as you are maybe not “perfect” on your behavior now and she will feel simply starting out in learning concerning faith.
A separate chance is that your mother and father is inextricably connecting Islam having Turkish society, i.elizabeth. becoming Turkish is equal to getting Muslim. Again, they are certainly not by yourself in this way given that most people away from some other countries has similar impression. The idea is always to help kone serbisk your parents realize that folks of all racial and you may cultural records can be and do end up being Muslims. For example reverts are required to just stop trying those individuals aspects of the countries which can be explicitly taboo for the Islam, we.e. alcohol consumption, ingesting pork, and you will ancestral praise merely to title a number of. Almost every other aspects of the society regarding resource can be and may end up being retained as long as they have range that have Islamic instruction. Your parents you are going to feel threatened your coming people cannot getting educated Turkish culture as his or her mother is not Turkish.
۳rd, i urge you not to ever define this issue you are facing once the an either otherwise, i.elizabeth. either you going an excellent sin from the disobeying your parents and you can marrying this lady or you going an excellent sin by “blindly” obeying your parents and not marrying that it woman. The reality of disease is you would be stored accountable for all your actions and just how you manage those things. The problem out-of obeying your mother and father are a valid you to, however you try an adult mature and will also be held accountable for your steps. Islam provides you with the ability to wed good righteous Muslim woman minus the consent of one’s mothers, while it is firmly necessary for their parents’ blessing while the your move ahead to your relationship. Cannot envision breaking out of every relationships along with your mothers simply to get married that it lady. You do have an obligation so you can uphold household members hence, you should do all things in what you can do to get to specific mutual skills along with your moms and dads about it situation.
Finally, you have to do that which you can be to store obvious lines regarding correspondence with your mothers for them to understand that you don’t intend to dump sometimes Islam otherwise Turkish society. They want to listen to from you you have this objective in your mind. Help them to realize that you and your upcoming wife tend to struggle not only to be great Muslims, however, that you’ll fit everything in possible to keep up the new Turkish community too. Possibly, you might delay marrying that it woman for some weeks thus she will be able to actually choose to become a beneficial Muslim and even start doing the fresh faith. Once the good Muslim, if the she will possess consistent communications with your mothers, possibly that might help your parents to be confident with its future daughter-in-legislation. Make many du’aa (supplication) so you can Allah (swt) and Istikhara (prayer to have advice) and you will find His (swt) ssistance because you build your concluding decision. And you may Allah (swt) knows better.
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